Happiness

A great Greek philosopher named Epictetus (AD 55-AD 135) was once recorded as saying, "There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will."  His philosophy was rooted in his belief that although life is ultimately controlled by fate; individuals still have the ability and freedom to choose how they react to every fateful life situation they encounter. Being raised and traded as a slave in his early life and then crippled in his later years; Epictetus thus decided early on that he, alone, was the only one who could determine his life’s level of happiness and worry. 

In comparison to Epictetus’ life and times, happiness seems so elusive to many people in this world of ours.  For some reason or another, the human race has always seemed to have issues (both minor and major) when it comes to the simple enjoyment and sheer pleasure of everyday life and living. 

Regrettably, the act of worrying about matters beyond one’s own control has stolen happiness’s place and taken center stage in many individual’s minds and hearts.  In effect, the worry then goes on to create extra stress and anxiety in not only each individual’s life; but also in the lives of others who care for them and whom they are involved with on a daily basis.  Thus, happiness is compromised and replaced in order for worry to flourish and destroy. 

Unfortunately, life is not always perfect every single day we are on this earth; but, the good thing is that many of us have already realized this “golden life lesson” through many years of living and our own past experiences.  And with this “golden life lesson”, we—like Epictetus—have hopefully also come to know that we are the only ones who can truly determine our own happiness, as well as what we choose to worry and not worry about.  Effectively, we are the “masters of our own fate / happiness / life”—and we, alone, have the power to control the way we perceive and react to any and every life situation (regardless of whether or not they are good or bad for us).

So, like Epictetus, we too can all decide whether or not we will choose happiness or worry or something else for each of our lives and days on this earth.  Although Epictetus’ life was not perfect, he still chose to make it the best possible life that he could—and ultimately, it is in our own power to do the same for ourselves. 

“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will."  ~Epictetus

Gratitude & Appreciation

In today’s world, gratitude and appreciation are often concepts that fall by the wayside during the chaos of everyday life and routines.  We all, for the most part, realize that life is a special gift and that the relationships that we foster within our daily living are something to be valued.  However, many of us also find ourselves far too busy to take the time to sit down, think, and truly assess and appreciate the countless aspects of all of the precious gifts we have in each of our lives.

Unfortunately, we are not awaken to many of our lives’ blessings until something tragic or uncomfortable takes place—until we are faced with the possibility that we may lose the very blessings which we never truly realized we had in the first place.  Many times, it is only then—when life seems that it is at its toughest—that relationships, situations, and life, itself, actually seem to recapture their true meanings and really make sense again.  Sadly, it is in those times of confusion and pain, when absolute gratitude and appreciation for life (and everything and everyone in it) begin to come into focus, sometimes even clearer than they ever were before.

Yet, even though many of us may need to go through some form of loss in order to grasp the significance of the greatest parts of our lives; in all reality, the best part of life is that we actually do have the opportunity AT ALL TIMES of our life to exercise our gratitude and appreciation for all that we have been blessed with.  So, with these words, I hope to encourage you all to live life to the fullest and with the utmost gratitude and appreciation for all that you have and for all whom you know.  Because without full gratitude and absolute appreciation in life—while you are living it—you will never truly know what you have until it is gone.

Gratitude (a feeling of thankfulness and appreciation)

Appreciation, grasp, hold (understanding of the nature or

meaning or quality or magnitude of something)

(http://wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn?s=gratitude)

Our Fateful Love

It’s been nearly one month since the last time I blogged and, like always, so much has happened.  Once again, life always has a funny way of teaching us lessons which we never thought we would ever learn or even understand—and sometimes in the most peculiar ways.  Within the last 30 days or so, I have surprisingly found my soul mate and fallen in love in ways I never knew existed; and during the process, I have also discovered more about myself than I had ever dreamed possible.

Through fate (and complex life situations), I have been blessed in the rare occasion of falling in love with my best friend and complete soul mate.  Without any manipulation of situations, others, or myself, I have been unknowingly and perfectly paired with the love of my life—all while neither of us even saw it coming.  Although we have “known of” one another for the last four years and have been relatively close acquaintances/friends over the last year or so; it has only been the last few months since we began sharing such a deep and special connection with one another. 

He is the first and only man whom I had completely fallen in love with, both as an individual and as a dear friend, far before our lips ever met in a kiss.  Our first embrace was absolutely incredible and shared only after our true feelings for one another were revealed.  And thankfully, through our countless heart-to-hearts with each other, I am comforted to know that he feels the same exact way about me—not one part of our relationship is one-sided or fake.  The sleepless nights we spend together in endless conversation about our lives apart, our life together and just life in general, only validates our hearts’ connections to one another with each passing day.  I continuously find myself daydreaming and yearning for the next moments we will be together—because I can never seem to get enough of him and everything we share.  I have never experienced any relationship as genuine or comfortable as the one I share with my soul mate at this very moment in my life. 

Although both of us have a myriad of faults and complicated situations attached to our individual lives; the love that we share as one is so incredibly perfect that its greatness while we are together ultimately makes up for all that we lack while we are apart.  Every moment spent together only strengthens our connection to one another’s heart; and even though the majority of our family and friends believe that we are “crazy” or are “moving far too fast” to be as deeply in love as we are—in the end, we both know that no other person will probably ever understand “us”, the depth of our love for each other, or why we feel what we feel.  Like everything else in life, it really doesn’t matter what others think or say, because the people “looking in” from the outside never really were meant to understand “the inside” of others’ lives in the first place anyway. 

Many of the current situations that we are finding ourselves in have been pretty difficult and huge stressors in our new life together; however, we have both come to the conclusion that our genuine connection, sincere love, and ultimate future together are worth more to us than anything else that stands in our way.  And in all reality, we both sincerely agree that we must fight for the things that truly matter in life—because, ultimately, the best things in life are not free or even simply attained in the first place. 

May 9, 2011

It’s been nearly one month since the last time I blogged and, like always, so much has happened.  Once again, life always has a funny way of teaching us lessons which we never thought we would ever learn or even understand—and sometimes in the most peculiar ways.  Within the last 30 days or so, I have surprisingly found my soul mate and fallen in love in ways I never knew existed; and during the process, I have also discovered more about myself than I had ever dreamed possible.

Through fate (and complex life situations), I have been blessed in the rare occasion of falling in love with my best friend and complete soul mate.  Without any manipulation of situations, others, or myself, I have been unknowingly and perfectly paired with the love of my life—all while neither of us even saw it coming.  Although we have “known of” one another for the last four years and have been relatively close acquaintances/friends over the last year or so; it has only been the last few months since we began sharing such a deep and special connection with one another. 

He is the first and only man whom I had completely fallen in love with, both as an individual and as a dear friend, far before our lips ever met in a kiss.  Our first embrace was absolutely incredible and shared only after our true feelings for one another were revealed.  And thankfully, through our countless heart-to-hearts with each other, I am comforted to know that he feels the same exact way about me—not one part of our relationship is one-sided or fake.  The sleepless nights we spend together in endless conversation about our lives apart, our life together and just life in general, only validates our hearts’ connections to one another with each passing day.  I continuously find myself daydreaming and yearning for the next moments we will be together—because I can never seem to get enough of him and everything we share.  I have never experienced any relationship as genuine or comfortable as the one I share with my soul mate at this very moment in my life. 

Although both of us have a myriad of faults and complicated situations attached to our individual lives; the love that we share as one is so incredibly perfect that its greatness while we are together ultimately makes up for all that we lack while we are apart.  Every moment spent together only strengthens our connection to one another’s heart; and even though the majority of our family and friends believe that we are “crazy” or are “moving far too fast” to be as deeply in love as we are—in the end, we both know that no other person will probably ever understand “us”, the depth of our love for each other, or why we feel what we feel.  Like everything else in life, it really doesn’t matter what others think or say, because the people “looking in” from the outside never really were meant to understand “the inside” of others’ lives in the first place anyway. 

Many of the current situations that we are finding ourselves in have been pretty difficult and huge stressors in our new life together; however, we have both come to the conclusion that our genuine connection, sincere love, and ultimate future together are worth more to us than anything else that stands in our way.  And in all reality, we both sincerely agree that we must fight for the things that truly matter in life—because, ultimately, the best things in life are not free or even simply attained in the first place. 

April 14, 2011.

April 14, 2011

“Life’s truest happiness is found in friendships we make along the way.” ~ Unknown

It has always been amazing to me how much of a difference only one person can make in someone else’s life—both for the better and for the worse.  Just a simple smile, an open ear, or a willing heart at times has the ability to change one’s life forever. 

As human beings, we were emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually designed for companionship and connection with other people.  We were surely not designed to stay quiet, closed up, or shut out and away from those who are so much like ourselves—that would be absolute hell on earth for anybody to endure.  Yes, I admit that it is vital for people to also have a certain amount of “alone time” in order to gather their thoughts and figure their own selves out in due time; however, once that self-awareness (and etc.) are found in one’s life, then it is time again to be reunited with other individuals. 

In my own life, I am very much one who enjoys both my “alone time” as well as great company with others.  However, “great” company to me is sometimes far different from what some may perceive as a fun time with others.  For myself, I consider “great company” to be someone who I can both have fun with and actually “philosophize” with about society, philosophy, religion, history—and really just life, in general.  If I am unable to carry an interesting conversation with someone then I feel as if I am not only wasting my time—but, the other person’s time, as well.  So, for me, it is often quite difficult to find other like-minded people with whom I feel comfortable enough to trust and relate to.

However, when those people are found, then I automatically am drawn to them.  And for better or for worse, I often seem to form an immediately deep bond and connection with them in a very short period of time.  Although the majority of the bonds formed are purely platonic; I often worry and sometimes learn that my incredibly quick and closely formed friendships are somehow doomed for eventual failure, for one reason or another.

Lately, I have managed to form a pretty amazing friendship with a phenomenal person, whom in the past; I would have never thought I had so much in common with.  However now, I literally cannot seem to get enough of him in my life—and, in all reality, he is the absolute epitome of “great company” in my eyes.  Every moment spent with him never really seems to last long enough for me. 

During the short period of time that we have spent together, I have been so greatly encouraged and inspired to believe in myself again.  My new friend and I discuss just about anything and everything under the sun and we always have an absolute blast in the process.  I can honestly say that I have quite possibly not had so much fun with one person, like I have had with him, for several years now.  I actually often lose count of the number of times that I burst out in uncontrollable laughter while I am with him.  Yet, although a large portion of our time is spent in laughing; we also seem to find ourselves in some of the most meaningful life conversations, as well.  Even though I am quite open and honest about many of my life situations and past with just about any person I speak to—with him, I actually feel as if I can sincerely share some of my current innermost thoughts and fears, without any judgment or shame. 

I know that I have somewhat of a problem when it comes to placing too much of my trust in others; and prior to my new friendship I had actually begun to withdraw from old friends and reveal far less to others about what was both on my mind and in my heart.  I had closely come to the point of giving up and accepting the fact that nobody really cared very much about what I thought and felt, for whatever reason.  But, thankfully, my new friend has helped to change my perspective.  

Yet, unfortunately, as our very friendship continues to grow with each passing day; my fear of losing our remarkable connection—as well as him completely—grows proportionately.  And I am honestly not quite sure what I should do.   As the weeks quickly pass by, it almost feels as if we both have been quietly sensing an outside tension that is on its way over to eventually tear apart all that we have shared together.  However, even though we both know that it is eventually coming—we instead mindfully choose to just enjoy our amazing connection together for as long as we can. 

Of all of the new friendships that I have experienced since my divorce, my new friend already sits in the “top three” of the best friends that I have had.  I definitely do not want to lose him and what we have because he has made such a worthwhile and positive difference in my life.  Truthfully, I just hope that I am being extremely paranoid and pessimistic about all of this right now—however, in my heart, I also know that “nothing gold can stay.”  But I certainly do hope that I am wrong and that my new friendship is able to continue as long as it possibly can…