Welcome to DroptheMask - START HERE

First Post: "Anniversary Day" 

I started my DroptheMask blog in 2011 at 25 years old during a painful divorce and child custody battle. Writing became my therapy—a way to process life's challenges, rediscover myself, and support others facing their own struggles. Inspired by my original mission, I continue to "drop the mask" of insecurity, expectations, and fear, believing that authenticity is where healing begins.

Because this blog was written in real time as my life unfolded, I encourage you to read it chronologically—from the oldest post to the newest—to experience the journey as it happened. Start with this first post, "Anniversary Day" from January 2011, then continue in order by either scrolling up to the next blog post or clicking the "Next Post Here" link at the end of each post. Follow along through my first year of divorce, healing, and self-discovery.

"Till We Have Faces" by C.S. Lewis.~~~ C.S. Lewis chose "Till We Have Faces" as the title of his story because it referenced a quotation from the book by Orual, "How can [the gods] meet us face to face till we have faces?" He defended his choice of title by describing the novel's importance to the human condition in a letter to Dorothea Conybeare, explaining that the idea behind the title was that a human being must become real before it can expect to receive any message from divine beings; "that is, it must be speaking with its own voice (not one of its borrowed voices), expressing its actual desires (not what it imagines that it desires), being for good or ill itself, not any mask."

“Dropped the Mask”

“This blog is about my search for "me". I plan to attempt to "drop the mask" of my insecurity, fakeness, and societal pressures in order to bear my heart and soul and discover who I REALLY AM, rather than who I am SUPPOSED to be in others' eyes. Because until We Drop the Masks and all have faces, we will never truly know how wonderful life really is.” --DroptheMask blog profile, 1/6/11



Since I began my first blog, nearly nine months ago today, so much change has transpired in my life—both good and bad. The primary reason for the beginning of my blog so many months ago now was in order to create a healthy emotional outlet for all of the various life changes that I was going through. Since the start of my “DroptheMask” blog on January 6, 2011, I have lived through shock over the start of my ex-husband’s new life, several family deaths, countless petty heartbreaks, numerous adventures, confusing new relationships with old and new people, and the beginning of my life’s journey (and my new family) with the love of my life, Kyle.



Nine months ago, I would have never guessed that I would be where I am today—and, if given the choice, I honestly believe that I would not change anything about what I have gone through or the ways I took to get here. No—everything was not perfect; and Yes—many things could have been done far differently than they were; however, life lessons would probably have never been learned had one simple step been altered.



Throughout my “search” for me, I began to learn the art of truth-telling to the most important person ever—myself. And through my searching and learning process, I discovered that once I truly knew and understood who I was in my own life—then the discovery and understanding of others also came a lot easier than ever. During the realization of my actual thoughts and desires and through the “dropping of my own mask”, my actions and reactions to the sometimes confusing life situations became a lot clearer to me, as well. It was almost as if I was thinking with a far clearer mind than ever before. Admittedly, throughout this process, I may not have always made other people happy about (or even totally accepting of) my decisions—but for once, I was happy and completely content with the decisions I had chosen for myself.



All in all, I believe that my entire blog experiment was a very successful one—I discovered (and revealed) a ton about myself (whether I liked it or not), learned numerous things about others, renewed a passion for writing in my soul, and at times even touched others’ hearts with the very unveiling of my own. Oddly, ever since my last entry on my way to Hawaii, “Mahalo, My Love,” I have felt as if the “DroptheMask” chapter of my life has finally closed; and thankfully, I am now completely at peace with all that has happened during that phase of my life. Without a doubt, DroptheMask has served its purpose in my life and I now feel as if it has run its course for what I was originally seeking out to do during that specific time in my life. Although I still have a passion to write about my life and thoughts; I no longer feel that my new entries about my “new life” really belong in the same venue as my “DroptheMask” entries. My entire life has been transformed and I could not be happier. I have truly found love through the relationship with my new husband, Kyle—and more importantly, through the new true relationship with my self. As a result, I now realize that I am still very far from perfect; however, I have also come to accept that everybody else is in the same exact boat as me…



My New Life…. http://briefrecollections.blogspot.com

Mahalo, My Love

August 16, 2011

I am currently on the way to hawaii with my soon to be husband and true love of my life. Although our quickly-paced budding romance and "story" has been anything but "ordinary" in others' eyes; our profound love for one another has no doubt grown extremely strong and been absolutely true. And over the last four months of our whirlwind love, we had definitely heard and felt the surprise from many, the wrath of a few, and tough questions about our actual love for one another from several--including eachother. However, much to our enjoyment, our new love has not only survived through the fire of our trials; but it has also flourished and grown deeper and stronger, as a result.

As we now traverse across the country and several time zones, I now feel more reassured and at peace than ever about my decision to allow my heart to follow its proper course to fall in love with my best friend and the man of my dreams. And the incidents of this past week and a half--leading up to our departure to our wedding in Hawaii--have only reconfirmed and strengthened my love and commitment to who I know is truly the love of my life.

Over the past few days, I was contacted by my ex-husband and told (among other things) that he was tearfully sorry for all of the pain he had put me through in our bitter divorce a year and a half ago, as well as his confession that he had never stopped loving me and would only know true happiness and peace if we were back together and a family again. I was in utter disbelief and pain at the words he had said, as well as for the pain he was obviously going through. Although I had forgiven him and gotten over the pain he had caused me quite some time ago; it was still crazy to think that what I was hearing was actually happening.

I shared the phone conversation with my new fiance the day it happened and was sick to my stomach about the whole thing the rest of the week. However, the strength and compassion that my fiance had shown for and toward both us and my ex-husband had given me the peace and absolute confidence in the love that we have for one another, as well as the right mind and heart to speak kind and helpful words to my ex-husband throughout the remainder of the week. By the end of the entire odd ordeal, I was able to offer my ex-husband (and now my good friend again...) the right words and encouragement that he needed to hear during this emotional time in his life; as well as the assurance to my new fiance and soon to be "life partner" that I am his--and only his--for now and eternity.

What had started out as something completely unexpected and extremely scary at first last week (...much like the way our whirlwind love has been) had actually turned out to become something so beautiful for words to really explain. My love for my fiance grows each and every day and in ways that I had never known love could do. Now, with a few more hours left until we land in Hawaii, I can honestly say that my life is an absolute dream. No, everything is not perfect; but, with our wedding tomorrow, my son completely in love with his other "dada", and the upcoming birth of our own baby together in early March--I really don't have anything that I can rightfully complain about. I thank God for the crazy trials I have gone through (and learned from) the last year and a half of my crazy-beautiful life and the amazing people that He has put in my life each and every day--Because without either, I wouldn't be who I am today.